Anak dara

Tolongg.. yana pagi tadi aku tgh mandi dia dah ketuk2 pintu bilik air ckp "ibu.. nak pakai.. nak pakai".. aku malas bukak dah lambat. Skali aku kuar je tengok2 moncong dia dah merah ngan lipstik (kale berry gelap tu).. avon punye yg sample kecik. waargghh.. aku marah la jugak.. aku amik terus dari tangan dia sebab takut kena sarung kusyen ke.. tapi elok2 plak dia tonyoh kat mulut je sememeh skit2 je.

Dah banyak kali dia hijack lipstik aku.. takut bibir dia jadi kering je nanti. Pagi tadi gak dia conteng dinding bilik ngan pen .. aku tekejot terus aku sergah marah dia.. dia tekejot terus majuk.. (spontan le aku sergah dia aku pun takleh kontrol)..
Sampai nursery macik nursery terus cakap.. anak dara dah anak awakkk..
aritu kat kampung dia kejekan Lip Ice adik aku (ada kale sket2).. sampai takleh pakai dah. Mak aku ckp... "cepatla ko dpt menantuuu.. tua la kooo.. ahahahaha.."

Tensen .. cis.. !

Mind My English 3 - Duped

This is the script that I wrote for our presentation at the IIUM English For Public Courses Certificate Giving Ceremony, December 2006. Unfortunately, this play couldn't be performed as we were lacked of casts and time to practise.

Enjoy reading it and use your imagination to spice it up. If any of you want to put up a play using this script, you may do it but don't forget to give me the credits, yeah. It's more to Malaysian joke though.


Characters : Mal, Fui Fui, Ajlaa, Rin

An English teacher will be doing a vocabulary quiz for his students. He mentions a word and the students will write down the meaning or the descriptions.

Mr Coklat : Good evening class. Before we start our class today, I would like you to do me a favor. Put up your hands if you don’t bring any dictionary.

(Some students will check their bags. Some will talk to each other. All of them raise their hands, slowly and a little bit unsure.)

Ajlaa : I put up my hand because I don’t bring any dictionary and I want to ask you a question.

Mr Coklat : Yes, please, Ajlaa.

Ajlaa : Why do you ask us to put up our hands if we don’t bring our dictionaries?

Mr Coklat : Well, should I ask you to put up your stinky feet? I just want to make sure you don’t bring any because I want to do a pop quiz for you. Since all of you love to leave your dictionaries at home, I will make sure you will miss it so much after this. This quiz will be included in 10% of your final grade. (muahahaahahaha…laughing devilishly)

Fui Fui : But you didn’t ask us to bring dictionary, maaaaa (agreed by others)

Mr Coklat : Hello… I am not your mother!?

Fui Fui : Soo..soo..sorry, but you did not ask us to bring dictionary, Mr Coklat.

Mr Coklat : Enough! Let us not waste our time. I will tell you several words and on a piece of paper I want you to write down the word and the meaning for me.

Rin : Fui Fui, can I borrow your paper? I forgot to bring one, lah.

Fui Fui : Haiyaa.. Rin..we are busy here and you want to read newspaper ahh??

Rin : Noooo..laaahh.. paper.. paper.. I want to write my answer..

Fui Fui : OOOoooohh… haiyaa..take this..take this.. (give a piece of red paper to Rin). What color is your paper?

Rin : Of course lah white one..i left it at home.

Fui Fui : You said you want to borrow, right? Never mind, lah.. no need to give me back..I just want red paper.

Rin : hi hi hi.. oohh you want the “Ong” ahh.. hi hi.. thank you..thank you..

Mr Coklat : All right, class! The first word is … “Supernatural”!

Rin : Oooohh.. that’s an easy one. I know what “Super Natural” is! (Writing something on the paper)
Mr Coklat : Second word is … “Born”.

Ajlaa : Rin.. can we change the answer? I don’t know the first word.

Rin : Of course we can change the answer. If you think the answer is wrong, then change it lahhhh…

Ajlaa : No laaaa.. I want your answer for the first word.. and I will give you my answer for the second one.

Fui Fui : Ooohh.. she wants to exchange the answer, maaaa..

Rin : Why don’t you tell me.. ish ish ish..

Mr Coklat : Silence!!!!! You are talking too much. This is the third word and I don’t want to hear you making noise anymore. The third word is “Corner”.
I give you 10 seconds, and when I call your name, tell me what is the meaning of the word. (Keep on knocking the table using the rattan stick).

1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9…10

Azrina! Tell me what does “Supernatural” mean? What it is?

Rin : You must be kidding me, Mr Coklat .. (giggling). You have asked me the easiest question I have ever heard. “Super Natural” is the youngest brother of Superman and he is the friend of Ultraman Nexus. His girlfriend is…

Mr Coklat : Stop it! What are you talking about? Do the squats now.. 3 times!

Rin : Cannot.. please..please.. I miss my dictionary already.

Fui Fui : No.. pity her, maaaaa…

Mr Coklat : Fui Fui.. you will also have the same fate as hers if you can not answer my question! (Talking fiercely and annoyingly.. keep on knocking the table with the rattan stick). What do you understand from the word “Born”?

Fui Fui : Bond…. (pause). James Bond.

Mr Coklat : You….!!!!!!!!! Do you want me to shoot you now? Grrr…grrr…

Fui Fui : (Speaking in Chinese.. asking for help)

Rin & Ajlaa : Noooooo…

Mr Coklat : Ok.. Calm down, Coklat.. calm down. Ajlaa, you will save them all if you can answer my last question. Otherwise, all of you will face the greatest sentence on earth.. (muahahahaha… )
Now, explain to me about the word “Corner”.

Ajlaa : Very the easy one, Sir. (Acting as she is riding a motorbike … brrr..brrr.. and suddenly make a big turn). Right now, I’m making a big “kona”, Sir!

Rin : Good one, Ajlaa.

Mr Coklat : Arrgghhhh..!! (Screaming).. This is why you should bring your dictionary when you go to English course!

Mr Coklat chases Rin, Ajlaa and Fui Fui.

Fui Fui : Hey, why should we afraid of you? If you are good, then what are the meanings of the words?

Mr Coklat : I don’t need to answer that, I’m good.

Rin : No.. we want the proof! Yeaaa.. don’t look at the dictionary! (Speaking out loud)

Ajlaa : Let me hold this for you (take away the rattan stick and knock the table with it).

(Ajlaa, Rin and Fui Fui look angry and as they want to beat Mr Coklat… Mr Coklat ducks)

Mr Coklat : Please.. please.. forgive me.. I’m not the real Mr Coklat, I don’t even know how to teach English. I’m your classmate!.. (Crying)

Ajlaa, Rin, Fui Fui : WHAT!!!!!!?????? Give us back our money! Yea..yea..

Fui Fui : We have been cheated. So what are we going to now, aahh??

Rin : Hey.. I heard IIUM have English for Public Courses. How about we go there and register for the course? It is quite cheap, you know.

Ajlaa : Yea.. Let’s not waste our time. Let’s go!

Mr Coklat : Wait! Take me with you! I want to get registered too..

Ajlaa : Hey.. Mr Coklat the liar.. (looking at the time) it’s already 10pm. We want to go home lah!


THE END…

Script by : Azrina Hussin, PJ

Mind My English 2 - Achieving My Dream

Wow... it has been a long time since I blogged here last time. Busy with work, kid (err...got one kid but feel like got ten?) and tv.

I just read back my posting in Mind My English 1 and I realize that I need to continue my effort to mastering English. Actually, for the past 3 months, I had attended Public Speaking Course in Islamic International University Malaysia in PJ. The classes were over and I'm very happy that I get to know new friends, tips in public speaking and motivation in improving my English proficiency. I'll be "graduating" on the 14th December 2006. Speaking about this, ooohh..ooohh.. we need to do a performance on that day, and we still don't practice a thing.

Attending this course makes me realize that I actually need exposure eventhough I thought that I didn't like to have contact with other people. I'm so excited that I have new friends including three Chinese girls. I just know that actually I like multicultural friends! Meeting with new people is like a supplement to my boring life in the office. I wonder why some people said that we don't need to go for courses because we can learn by ourselves. We'll never know what we can get from a class or a meeting or a talk. We can get more than the course content itself especially when we have a good talkative and cheerful lecturer like Puan Raja Zarina :). How I wish I could be like her, doing the job that she loves and she gets the satisfaction eventhough she said the pay can't get her rich. For me, being rich will not necessarily make us happy but feel that we are rich and be able to help other people that matter.

When we have a good talkative and cheerful lecturer, we get more than public speaking tips in the class. We get career tips, love tips, communication tips, salary tips, how to impress your boss tips, multi-national vs government body tips and live-life-to-the-fullest and life-is-already-complex-so-don't-make-it-more-complex tips. My mind seems shrinking eventhough I've been working here for more than 6 years. My mind thirsts of knowledge and I need more and more of it to make it expands and useful. It is so boring that my head is only full of PHP, Drupal, Linux and only the technical things. I need to be more progressive in terms of leadership, people skill, self-esteem and all non-technical skills. I'm so happy that I've finally found out that I have the right, professionally, to speak up my idea or to tell other people in business without beating around the bush.

This public speaking class motivates me alot. As I stated earlier, about beating around the bush, I'm one of a kind that don't know how to write or speak so nicely especially to write a letter to our clients. My colleagues always give negative comments to my business letters and I always don't have the confidence to write something like beautifully passive sentences. It's either because I don't have that much vocabularies or I don't like the readers to be misunderstood. From this class I learn that it is better for us to get to the point so that our audience know what we wanna talk about. This goes with the letter too. So, I feel more confident now, at least a little bit. I just need more practice and more vocabularies in order to get a better English. My lecturer always asked us to practice and practice and we must make sure that we practice correctly, otherwise nothing will change. She also said that it is useless if we can speak fast like a native speaker but our audience can't grap the words and ideas. Thus, I believe it is not a sin to speak English with Malay accent and speak a little bit slow as long as the articulation and the language are right. Most importantly is the way I deliver my speech and I know it needs a lot of practice. Even the best speaker in the world needs practice and I was told (and I believe that) this skill can be cultivated. From what I've mentioned earlier, it really shows that the public speaking class can motivate and boost my self-esteem.

Getting ourselves go to the class and making sure we get involved in the class are the key points that attending a course is not a waste of money. Besides that, it also kills the negative thoughts that we can learn something by ourselves or from the net. NO.. not everything can be learned from the Internet or books only. Reading articles about other experiences or tutorial are not the same with hearing the experiences and tutorial from the experts themselves. I really...really hope that my friends, the tips and the knowledge and the motivation that I got from the course are forever attached with me and benefit my life and everybody's.