Mind My English 1 - My Dream

I have decided that I should improve my English language, thus here I am sitting in front of my personal computer, late at night typing something in order to practicing it. What am I going to write now? I think maybe I should elaborate on what I do in improving myself to master the Malaysia’s second language. No..no.. that is a long way to go for tonight as I plan to write as briefly as possible since I will be working tomorrow.

I noticed that my English pronunciation was very bad. Sometimes, I had my tongue twisted and sometimes I stumbled when people asked me in English. It happened since I was in MCC and it continued to the States and now in my late 20s I’m still struggling mastering English. I feel ashamed of myself because my English worsens in spite of studying abroad and attending the English Language Course at MARA Language Academy, Cheras after the SPM. I also studied at Maktab Rendah Sains MARA Jasin, the great school which always won English Debate Competition inter MRSM. Apparently, I realize that I was not so keen to learn and took for granted all of the easiness that was bestowed upon me.

When I was in MCC, I studied English just to get the subject passed. I might try to get a ‘B’ grade for the subject but my effort was just enough for me to get a ‘C’. Besides that, the negative thought towards the language had not helped me much. I was too shy to speak English and even now I just feel it is better for me to speak Malay rather than speak English wrongly. The environment has also influenced me since I was a kid. Being in Malay society and mingled with non-English speaker added more to the negative thought that a person who speaks English does not love Malay language and arrogant. I also believe that I should speak in real English accent instead of sounding like Malay, well, that was what one of my lecturers in MCC told me, but I am not able to do that until now. As the result, I was neither a fluent English speaker nor Malay with real English accent. To make things worse, I have lack of English vocabulary. Imagine a two years old toddler, who knows less than twenty simple words, he or she must have difficulties in voicing out their feelings and needs. Yeah, that is what my daughter and I have in common, we have little vocabulary. Our difference is I know Malay language so I can speak up about everything I want to and she does not know any language other than a toddler’s.

I admit indeed that vocabulary is the power of words. I must take actions seriously and proactively to overcome my English problem. This is not only my personal problem but it is also a nation’s dilemma. If I manage to master English language, maybe I can help others too. At least that is my wish for this moment and hopefully it will come true one day.

Even this short posting has got me blogging for two hours..pheww...go rinot go...!